This was an important year because it was when I started watching L.A. Law, which became one of my all-time favorite tv shows. So, naturally, it invaded my dreams.
- Jeffrey Hunter was going door-to-door delivering free pizza for Captain Pike Day, and he was in uniform, looking exactly as he did on Star Trek. He gave me four boxes of Domino’s, but there were only one or two slices in each box.
I tried to talk to Mr. Hunter but he had to leave and a band showed up in his place; they told me to close my front door because they were smoking and didn’t want any of the smoke to get inside my house. Later, I went online in a group chat to proudly exclaim that I had a new best friend named Jeff.
- The end scene of Doctor Who and the Silurians was refilmed in the late ’70s and featured Daryl Hall as the Third Doctor, John Oates as the Brigadier, and Katy Manning as Jo Grant (replacing Liz Shaw).
- A boy was obsessed with a fish that looked like The Rainbow Fish (remember that old book?). One day, he and his friends swam out looking for it. As it got late, each of his friends left to swim back home, giving up the search one-by-one. Finally, the boy found the Rainbow Fish! But by the time he did, it was late and dark. He was all alone and far away from shore.
- During an interview, Rudy Giuliani tried to be hip and made an outdated pop culture reference comparing his daughter to Dr. House, and the interviewer wanted to clarify: “You mean she’s addicted to pain medication?”
- I was “rendering” Thanksgiving dinner, and I thought “Hey, instead of spending all this time rendering the entire dinner, what if I just rendered each dish individually to save time?”
- I was watching an episode of L.A. Law (this was before I actually started watching it) that involved the defense attorney putting on a wig and outfit similar to the prosecutor, and saying ridiculous things/dancing in order to trick the jury into thinking he was the prosecutor. I thought, “Ahh yes, this is what L.A. Law is like.”
- Not a dream exactly, but when I was drifting into sleep one night, I got the mental image of a 4-inch robot toy named Beavis that was half Dracula McNugget Buddy, half Elvis.
- I was on a date with someone and we had a friendly argument about the word “cocoon” – she thought the singular form was “cocoons” and made fun of me for not saying it that way.
- Space marines were fighting xenomorphs and I was with a group of people in a storeroom as the crappy last line of defense. We wore “flak jackets” that were really cheap plastic aprons, and none of us had any experience fighting anyone; if we saw a xenomorph, we were screwed. There was a cat with us (not Jones), along with Ed Harris, who was probably supposed to be on the set of The Abyss instead.
- Another non-dream, but my cat woke me up in the middle of the night, and while half-asleep I looked at him and thought, “Oh, I remember you were in L.A. Law.” And I was so proud to be able to brag that my cat was a cast member of L.A. Law.
- My Internet friend started an unauthorized charity; people came over, seized his money, then tased him like 10 times.
- I met Melvyn Douglas’ grandson, who looked exactly like him, and I was going to make a remark about it but then I thought, “Wait, I bet he gets that a lot and I don’t want to offend him.”
- I decided to go to a nearby cavern, but it was in (or next to) a volcano that suddenly erupted and destroyed the original filming models of the Enterprise-D and Deep Space Nine, which just happened to be inside.
The cast of Transformers: Beast Wars arrived to investigate the eruption, while I evacuated with a group of students that were also there, on a field trip. After I left the volcano, I encountered a nurse who I apparently went to elementary school with, but she didn’t remember me at all.
- I found out there was a Voltron crossover with some other show, but when I went to Google it, my computer got infected by a ton of malware.
- Someone’s evil twin wanted to get his good twin’s tooth, and there was a portal in the couch.
- I was in a used bookstore and I found a couple L.A. Law coffee table books. “Hmm, should I get the season 3 book or the season 5 book?” Then I happened to see Corbin Bernsen (looking as he did when he was on the show) at one of the nearby bookshelves. I went up and chatted with him, but he treated me like crap, so as I left him I loudly said, “Well, it was nice talking to you, famous tv actor Corbin Bernsen.” All the people nearby heard me and started going up to him in droves.
- There was a new episode of The Simpsons that involved a tear in the fabric of space-time that opened near Bart’s treehouse, and a giant monster (like rock monster from Galaxy Quest but made out of clothes) came out looking for revenge against Bart for some reason. Then, I think The Tick showed up to fight this monster.
- Two of my friends were apparently lawyers working on two different cases (or maybe the same?) but one of them did something unethical and accepted “evidence” from her client. I went to a closet where a “reward” was left from her client and a hole appeared on the roof. “Aw, crap!” I said, as I kept pressing Ctrl-Z on a non-existent keyboard a million times to undo the hole.
- There was a Star Trek: Lower Decks episode about unions, and I think it involved a shopping mall or something. The Ferengi were there and Boimler became the union leader.
- Shortly after The Princess Bride, Mandy Patinkin appeared as Inigo Montoya in ads for frozen french fries and was that brand’s spokesperson. That is, until one day, when he famously said: “I actually don’t like these.”
- The Tall Man from Phantasm was actually meant to be a force of good. He was sent back in time to protect humanity from the Terminators, but then something went wrong and he turned bad.
- I told someone I didn’t like the new Dune movie and that I was going to read the book to back up my opinion so they wouldn’t say, “Well you don’t understand the story because you haven’t read the book.”
- I was pointing at someone and then they pointed back at me. “Look, we’re doing the Spider-Man thing.”
- There was a variety show in the ’90s called Newsradio (not related to the sitcom of the same name); it aired on UPN and was hosted by someone named “Scooby”. Earth: Final Conflict and Invasion America aired as segments on this show. In a lobby, I overheard someone talk about Scooby, and I asked him if he was talking about Scooby-Doo, but I suddenly felt unhip and out of touch because, no, he was actually talking about the Newsradio host.
- I went to a comic con, but most of the guests cancelled so I helped organize a magic show for attendees to get their money’s worth.
- There was a movie where Elliott Gould was convinced he was sick, so he went to a hospital to get scanned. They’re like, “Yes, you’re sick, so here’s the cure: You have to eat this loaf of bread.” This was how they treated hypochondriacs.
- There was a late Star Trek: TNG episode that had scenes filmed but was never completed…until now. The episode involved an emotional (love?) story set on a planet-of-the-week and featured Picard. Worf was also involved in the episode’s b-plot in a story involving Alexander and, somehow, K’Ehleyr. Kira joined the episode later when the Enterprise crew asked her/Deep Space 9 for help.
- I started eating cat kibble as a joke then started regularly eating it until I found out it was bad for humans to eat cat food. I woke up from this dream convinced that I really did eat cat food.
- I was working at the L.A. Law law firm, where I met a woman who also worked there and she had a robot dog (that looked like a M.O.U.S.E.R. from Ninja Turtles). The dog bit my entire arm several times and the woman just laughed it off.
I then went to Abby’s office where I told her I’m getting a 2% paycut – she said I shouldn’t accept that and that I should fight back. Meanwhile, a new lawyer played by Hugh Quarshie joined the law firm but he didn’t think he was going to last long because he’s a hypochondriac.
- I was in a house that was part of a retirement community. There was a celebration of the 2005 War of the Worlds movie going on, which involved sending miniature tripods loose through the streets with green bird robots that peeked inside people’s houses.
- Deep Space Nine ended on a downer with the Dominion winning the war,
but we saw Dominion occupation of the Federation through the eyes of the
L.A. Law cast. Arnold left the firm and faked his death so he could go live in a cave on a distant planet somewhere.
Leave a Reply