The first thing I said in 2020 was “Oh, fuck!” because when I got out of bed, I immediately stepped in cat vomit. That seemed to be an omen for how 2020 would go. 2021 was better (for the most part), but how were my dreams that year?
- There was a new season of Red Dwarf where Kryten was replaced by a woman wearing a headband-looking thing like Delenn from Babylon 5, and Cat was replaced by Chicken. Chicken had a weakness for massages and constantly had dreams where everyone loved him. Rudy Giuliani was the villain and his skin was drippy and melty.
- I went to an indoor party where no one was wearing a mask and I was greeted by David Bowie. “Wow, you’re alive!” I said, but I noticed he was looking thin. He was sick and in poor health. I then followed Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden to a large room for Biden’s inauguration. It was filled with conference tables and could hold a lot of people, but because of social distancing, only two people were allowed to sit at each table. I sat next to Bernie while Biden went up to the front. Coincidentally, I had this dream around David Bowie’s birthday.
- I went to visit some Internet friends, but I happened to park my car in front of an old man’s house – an author of a famous book series about cats. Tons of his fans surrounded his house and I was trapped.
- Dreamt about the feasibility of recreating Picard’s Christmas from Star Trek Generations. It seemed really easy.
- I was watching the director’s cut of Alien 3 (but I was also in it). I ate someone’s cake and had to pretend I liked it because I remembered the last time I watched the movie, they got upset when I told them I didn’t. Ripley didn’t shave her head this time, and Rita from Wentworth was here too.
- One of those “oh no, a thing is due and I haven’t done it yet,” dreams. I was in sociology class and the teacher was upset, saying we never do our work; to motivate us, she gave us a Spider-Man themed assignment. Suddenly, a huge rolling desk filled with film memorabilia came in. Robert Duvall was inside this desk, and he was ready and willing to answer any question we might have. I wanted to ask him about the Twilight Zone episode he was in, but I think I got him confused with Robert Lansing because I was thinking about The Long Morrow.
- I secretly met Jim Carrey in a building, and he told me he was a fan of my work. As soon as I left him, tons of paparazzi showed up and I was concerned that Carrey thought I sold him out.
- There was a Star Trek: Voyager podcast with the actors filming new scenes, looking the same as they did in the ’90s. In one episode, the crew came across a train station in space that had ties to the Federation; it was very far away and just barely within transporter range. Captain Janeway beamed down, but seemed a little off balance/drunk because the transporter beam wasn’t totally stable. I’m also there and jokingly (?) point off in the distance, “Captain, it’s Satan!” Janeway spun around, surprised: “Where?!”
- Something involving a crossover between The Flintstones and Star Trek: Enterprise.
- There was an organ in our bodies that processed candy and I learned that mine had been removed without my permission. I could still have candy, but was limited to one piece a day.
- I was in a hot air balloon and landed on an old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere occupied by an elderly couple and their large cat. I turned on the tv and a new episode of Star Trek: Discovery was playing. It involved Burnham and Adira piloting a giant robot on Qo’noS, competing in a gladiatorial tournament.
- I had a daughter that I didn’t love. I was told I would change my mind after a few days, but I didn’t. So, I sent her to a parallel universe, to a version of myself that wanted kids but couldn’t have any. Then I wrestled an alligator.
- I had a 2-3 line voice role in the season finale of Star Trek: Lower Decks, but I didn’t remember recording it. I wondered if they sampled audio clips from my old videos without my knowledge. Either way, I bragged to others about how I now had an entry on Memory Alpha.
- I was watching Disney’s Doug, which I’m less familiar with compared to the Nickelodeon version. Doug had committed a crime and was sentenced to death, and the rest of the episode was about him sitting alone in his cell, waiting to die. “Wow,” I thought, “this is what Disney’s Doug is like?”
- I went to a doctor’s office where each patient had to submit an embarrassing story about themselves, which would go into a book. Then the staff would review the book and write about how much they hated all their patients. I was there on a Sunday even though my appointment was on a Wednesday; the doctor looked at me for five seconds as I walked in and immediately said, “Oh, you need medicine.”
- I went somewhere with lots of metal containers and I was telling random stories to people. Unbeknownst to me, I was being recorded by Weyoun from Deep Space Nine, and these recordings were going to lead to destruction of the Federation.
- As part of promotion for Ghostbusters: Afterlife, there was a new COVID vaccine but it was only 15% effective.
- I went to LA to attend a special boarding school type place for actors. I wasn’t an actor but I was there undercover for some reason. The design of the dorm rooms was weird – each room was connected, so you had to go through other people’s rooms to get to yours. And there were cheap, ’80s Halloween masks (like Batman) on the walls of each room.
- I was an old cast member of All That, even though I had no recollection of that ever happening. I was called back to the show for a reunion special, but by this point, the show was really low budget: the cast was small (like two people) and it was filmed in a classroom…but still with a live audience. A hip hop artist was the musical guest, but he spoke with a weird autotuned/robot voice.
The show was about to begin, and I was really nervous about screwing up because I didn’t have a script. So, I got up and had to read a review of All That from a TV Guide that was published in the ’90s, but I kept losing my place. Then John Goodman, apparently the producer of the show, gave me a box of donuts like he was giving me an award: “My father gave me donuts on my first day of working on the show, and I’d like you to have these.”
- Professor Xavier was doing a raffle where each winner was going to get a check for $1,000 from him. One of his students won but refused to accept it because he thought it was unfair and that it was a conflict of interest.
- I was walking through a hallway and saw an old man on the floor without a mask, so I kept whispering “David Lynch, David Lynch, David Lynch” to keep him away from me.
- I visited someone who lived in a house that looked like it was from a PlayStation game. We went to an empty shopping mall and got separated, but I ran into an elderly man trying to find the exit. I then came across an area of the mall where I found my grandfather living with Spot, my cat that passed away years ago. Spot had no access to a litter box, so would pee on the arm of a couch. The lost elderly man reappeared and it turns out he was a friend of my grandfather’s.
- I was a substitute teacher of a class. The fire alarm went off, but I had a hard time finding my mask.
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