Dream Journal 2022

I’ve been sitting on this post for a long time. I wanted to do drawings for some of the dreams, like last time, but I didn’t have enough time or energon. So instead, I’m just going to throw in random renders of Garfield…err, I mean, this 3d model of a generic orange cat.

Now the dreams (or nightmares):

• Andrew Cuomo moved into my garage and was going to run for mayor of Dallas.

• There was a crossover between Lupin the Third (Castle of Cagliostro, specifically) and Perfect Blue.

• I went into space with my father (or maybe it was Kevin Costner) in a shuttle for three days but I forgot most of the trip. I only remembered the very end when I was preparing to return. On Earth, I arrived at an airport and saw an Internet podcast guy.

• I was watching an episode of Garfield and Friends that parodied The Shawshank Redemption (George H.W. Bush was the warden). Instead of books, Garfield was building a library of DVDs and would go to each of the prisoners to ask what films they wanted, but they would have to give their requests in code. Someone requested Shawshank Redemption by saying “I want to see Sharshank Redarmpshar.”

• There were two elderly people in an office, and I went to one of them and asked if he was Terence Stamp or John Waters. A woman came by and took us all to a balcony where there was a fire and I could feel the heat. Then something happened involving an eyeball and a bush with spiky branches.

• An Internet friend was writing for a local newspaper. One of his articles made the front page but there were many typos; another article in the paper connected Muppet Babies and Tiny Toon Adventures to Neon Genesis Evangelion.

• I mailed breadsticks to people but by the time they reached them, they were blue and moldy.

• There was a medical clown that got bitten by a zombie and I (accidentally?) let it go back into the hospital, where it infected the staff. Tons of zombies were on the loose and it was all my fault. So I went to a random building and tried to recruit a dirty dozen group of people. “Who wants to help me fight zombie clowns?” Everyone ignored me. But when I saw some Klingons, I added: “Who wants to probably die in a battle that’s impossible to win?” and I suddenly got volunteers.

• I was watching the season 1 finale of Star Trek: Picard and somehow it tied into Final Fantasy VII. Dr. Soong was there as a crude 3d PlayStation model hanging out with the Final Fantasy characters.

• I went to microwave a bag of popcorn. I turned my head away for a second, and when I turned back, I saw that my cat had swallowed the entire bag as it was popping.

• There was a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode that was a cross between Remember Me and Voyager’s Displaced: The Enterprise was empty, apart from Picard, Dr. Crusher, Geordi, Guinan, and Data. Every so often, a random cadet from a Starfleet training facility would appear. A group of these cadets found Guinan in Ten Forward: “We shouldn’t talk to strangers,” said one of the cadets. “I’m no stranger,” Guinan replied, “I’ve literally been to Hell.”

• I went to a park and put sunscreen on myself, but turns out it wasn’t sunscreen – it was some kind of numbing cream that made me sleepy.

• My friend invited me to a climate summit that was also being filmed for a documentary or reality show. One of the attendees was a murderer and I was sneaking around, eavesdropping on people’s conversations to find out who it was.

• I called Orson Welles and he invited me to go on a trip to four countries with a professor friend of his. The first place we were going was Antarctica, followed by Italy. I was a little hesitant to have him organize this trip because I was afraid that if he died again, I’d get lost.

• My friend and I were complaining about new McDonald’s toys based on Star Trek: Enterprise. They were mini board games. One involved a bus and was about T’Pol not wanting to sit next to people she didn’t like, such as Tuvok, Neelix, and Skeletor.

• A local (non-existent in real life) politician was doing a townhall, and there was a recent controversy about her wearing an expensive watch, so she started by addressing it: “Here’s why it’s okay that I’m rich…” Someone in the audience loudly groaned, which offended her and she left.

• I went to a toy store with a friend and found a Gundam Wing Leo action figure for $3. Someone else came into the store hoping to sell his Gundam Wing Leo action figure; my friend scoffed at him, “Good luck getting more than $3 for that.”

• I was in a library that was in a shopping mall, and my friend was present as a hologram. For whatever reason, I went off on my own to explore deeper into the library, but I kept running into people who mistook me for someone else. First they’d insult me, then they’d attack me. I found a certain Georgia Congressperson sitting at a table with her colleagues, and I beckoned them for help but they ignored me.
  
  Eventually I’m able to calm one of these aggressive people and sat her down. I went to the telephone to call for a counselor to come by to help her, but then someone else came in. Supposedly it was a delivery person leaving something behind, but I was very suspicious of him. I went to a library employee, “Hey, shouldn’t someone inspect that package before leaving it here?” but the employee blew me off and just said, “Sure, go ahead. You can inspect it.”
  
  I left the library and started walking through the mall when I realized, “Oh shit, I’m not wearing a mask.” I came to the conclusion that I really screwed up my day, but I have the ability to redo my days (like in the show Tru Calling, which I even reference in the dream), so I closed my eyes and summoned this ability…and woke up in real life.

• It was snowing on Deep Space Nine; Kira and Jadzia, along with Bashir and Garak were in a fancy room wearing costumes, getting ready to go in the Holosuite together. Kira had platinum hair like Nana Visitor does now. I told them they’re my two favorite couples in Star Trek as I ate slices of mayonnaise-soaked salmon from the table with my fingers.

• There was a tv show starring Patrick Stewart as a detective. In one episode, William Shatner guest starred as the villain: a shifty guy who had a group of people working for him to sell burner phones out of garbage bags by a river walk (possibly in New Orleans).

• There was a local election with tons of people running, including myself, but my opponents spent all their time attacking each other, that I somehow ended up winning with 57% of the vote. But once in office, I kept getting harassed by that certain Georgia Congressperson, my approval level plummeted and I was being accused of doing the opposite of what I wanted to do.

• I was hanging out with Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter. She hugged me, then coughed and said, “I’ve been coughing all day.” I thought: “Oh great, Jimmy Carter’s wife made me sick just now.”

• This was another dream where I was working in politics; I brought a couple wrapped boxes of candy for a White Elephant game, but during the lunch break, that Georgia Congressperson opened all my boxes. I did my best to seal them up again, and left a note explaining what happened. Patrick Stewart and Jonathan Frakes were also present on Capitol Hill for some reason.

• I had to take Scott Bakula to Disneyland and it was also my responsibility to feed him lunch. I think I gave him potato chips.

• Some vague dream about being in a cabin during winter, but when I woke up, I had a quote in my mind supposedly from Descartes: “What you bitch about in your mind is different from what you bitch about out loud.”

• Stonehenge suddenly turned into a stargate and swarms of alien ships came out to invade Earth. Fortunately, they were all easily defeated by regular human fighter jets. How does humanity respond to this incursion? By posting a lot of funny memes on the Internet.

• I was watching a movie where Mark Ruffalo played a fugitive secret agent that was on the run – his love interest was played by Natalie Portman, and there was a superhero played by Josh Charles, who wore a garish red costume with a huge, popped-out collar.
  
  A squad of cars chased Agent Mark Ruffalo, until the superhero appeared and instantly immobilized the cars with a simple hand movement. Just as he’s about to set them all on fire, the superhero collapsed from a heart attack because using his powers was too stressful on his body.