The Brand New Testament

In this 2015 Belgian film, God’s daughter Ea gathers six apostles and writes the Brand New Testament.

Plot Summary

God is a man who lives in an apartment in Brussels with his wife (Goddess) and daughter Ea. God controls everything that happens on Earth with a computer, the source of his power.

Ea finally decides she’s had enough of God’s abusive behavior and breaks into his computer to broadcast the death date of every single human on Earth (the info gets texted to their phones).

She escapes the apartment by crawling through a washing machine, and with urging from her brother Jesus, goes on to find six apostles and create the Brand New Testament.

The rest of the film is about Ea finding each apostle and seeing how they deal with knowing exactly how many years (or days) they have left to live. Each apostle has their own unique backstory, and some are a little stranger than others.

Meanwhile, God purses Ea, but he’s an asshole to everyone he meets and ends up getting deported to Uzbekistan. With him out of the picture, Goddess gains control of the computer and resets everyone’s death dates, then makes the world a nicer, but weirder place.

Thoughts

This was an imaginative, cute, feel-good movie, similar in style to a Wes Anderson film; so many memorable, whimsical visuals. It’s worth a viewing if you’re in the mood for something light (like I was after seeing Aniara) or want something to watch with your extended family during the holidays. But it’s not a film you need to drop everything and watch right away.

Honestly, I’d even say the film is a little forgettable. It’s about on par with The Hundred Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared – a film I know I’ve seen, that I think I liked, but I can’t tell you a single thing about it. That’s how I’ll be with The Brand New Testament in a couple weeks.